tears

TEARS

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It had been a long time in coming,

like the swollen soot clouds of a coming storm,

like the too-ripe fruit ready to fall,

like the sun baking chocolate dirt desperate to bloom.

So she let it come,

the slow wet rising reaching her eyes,

beginning to fall and fall.

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quite poetic huh?

here i go again..

collecting dust

cleaning the cobwebs

WHY AM I ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU

So finally I've started a new blog. I've been wanting to do this for awhile. Just to let it all out.
Honestly, I am thinking of him again. I know I shouldn't be after all he doesn't love me anymore. But, i promised myself i'd wait until after college before I'd forget about him. If he doesn't end up loving me again in the 4 years. I will move on with my life. I know he's perfectly happy right now. So am I. All i want is his happiness. i love being able to see him grow in God. Even if that means for me not being that important in his life anymore. I'll do it. Even if I don't end up with him. Atleast, I wont have any regrets. I just want to prove my love for him. I'm not expecting anything in return. Im contented with being his friend. Actually the pain has already stopped. I am so happy. I love him. I want him in my life. But, i dont need him. I need God. My Father will never leave me nor forsake me.. I will let God's will be done..

I have never loved anyone like this. I've never cared so much about someone. I've never put so much effort in anything. I mean i made him a scrapbook, treasure hunt, burned cd, stuff toy, box of stars with sweet nothings written inside, a bracelet, a necklace, a old letter and too many mushy retarded love letters. I've never ever in my life done that to anyone else. NEVER.. He really inspires me. Even if he doesnt know this but, he makes me so happy. Im glad im still in his life. Im glad we are friends.

I will keep my promise. but, sometimes, i wonder if he just lied that he didn't love me anymore. Hay, but of course thats just a thought which I am not dwelling on if thats what your thinking. Haha. Sorry I just miss him. i really do. But friends will just have to do it for now.

I STILL 101% LOVE YOU TIMOTHY VIDAL SO

GOSH YOU RETARDED BRACEFACED PIG :)

I CANT SEEM TO FALLOUT OF LOVE WITH YOU

NO MATTER WHAT I JUST SEEM TO LOVE YOU MORE

Can you tell me.. What's the secret to this magic trick?
I'd like to try it on you. LOL :)

I love you porkie dorky.

uh.. what am i saying.

:( your right

i need to stop fantazying..

but i cant help it sumtyms,

unlike you.

i stayed inlove.

i never left

i just acted like i did.

i was stupid foolish

and now.

i lost the very thing i cherished so much?..

hay..

thats reality..

your gone.

Im here.

but.

I still have 4 years to prove that I love you.

You dont have to love me back.

I just want to prove it.

i know your happy

so i must be happy too

besides..

God's love is MORE than enough for me.

I just wana show you how much God loves you through me.

:D

i miss you mochi

**now playing : tiger lilly**