1 month & 2 weeks

** i cut my hair just to try to forget tim it didnt work**

--its been 1 month & 2 weeks--





hay..





havent blogged for awhile


& stupid mem forgot her password to my other lastest blog


so might as well just settle for this one..





anyways..


eya is sleeping right now


unlike me who never sleeps


well rarely


since yeah..





i still love him so much


but i will follow God's will


& not my own





plus i know he doesn't love me anymore


i dont know why i am still waiting


i stopped flirting wid guys.


as in totally..


all i want is him





hay,,


i want him but i DONT need him


my heart just still longs for him


for the staring game


hay i hate this


its unfair


hhes perfectly okay


while im here


still madly inlove with him


having to bare everyday without him





recently i had a dream about him


(**music playing ILL BE**)





he was wearing a red tshirt :)


he looked so cute


we were just lying on my bed..


i was asleep.


& he was staring at me


then i woke up & we just stood there


hanging by the moment


just smiling like nothing had happened


jus staring into each others eyes


i was so happy so calm so safe..


then..





I WOKE UP..


yea.. that simple yet until now..


i cant get these pictures out of my head..





I already let go..


but, i that doesnt mean i dont love him..


if he really is for me?


and if what we had was real..


one day..


one day..


he will come back..


if he is God's will..


but if not..





well, then i guess i just have to move on.


all i know is that im still waiting..


but while i am waiting i will serve my God


and i wont focus just on him


but he still has my heart..





anyways..


i cant sleep


keep thinking of him..


yeah him..





my once upon a time rainbow..





big girls dont cry..


he will never know how much i cry 4 him


how much i truely care for him


and how much i love him


but i dont care..


i rather love him silently & be out of his life..


than be in his life & see him not grow..





hay..


i just miss timothy vidal so..










yeah him..